And Then There Was Joy.

Thank you for all who prayed for my ultrasound this morning.  I needed those prayers as I was very nervous for some reason.

I hurriedly dropped off a grumpy Will at Laura’s this morning (I’m not sure if he is teething or fighting something, but he has not been himself so far this week).  Elise was dropped off by Nana right as I was leaving there (she spent the night at Nana’s last night).  I got to my appointment just a few minutes late.

Unfortunately I think the office was very busy today.  As I sat in the waiting room I started getting nervous for no apparent reason.  The baby was giving me some light kicks and I felt great.  I got called back pretty quickly and did the initial blood pressure and weight check.  I found out that I have not gained any weight this last month still.  So of course that got me to worrying more.  I sat in the nurses room for awhile waiting for the ultrasound room to be free, and then once I got in there had to wait even longer for the doctor to be free.  So there I was imagining all sorts of things I was sure the doctor would find when he did the ultrasound.

But it was all fine, of course.  At first the doctor thought he’d be doing another ultrasound next month because the baby was lying on his or her stomach and not giving him very good views of the heart or cord.  Though we got excellent views of the brain and spine, which looked great.  The legs were all tucked up under the baby and he or she was waving a little hand back and forth.  Just as the doctor was about to finish, the baby decided to be accommodating and flipped over giving a great view of the umbilical cord and heart.  Everything looks great.  The heart has 4 clear chambers and the doctor even showed me the working valves and the large aorta inside the baby.  The heart rate was beating very evenly at 155 beats a minute.  The doctor did size measurements to make sure we were on track with growth (something I was worried about with my lack of weight gain).  Baby measures 4 days small, which is perfectly within the normal range for this stage of the pregnancy.  The doctor will do another ultrasound in a couple months to check the development and growth again, but he is very happy with the images he got today and what he was able to see.  And he was very good at not giving away the sex (I’m not even sure he checked what it was, if he did he didn’t mark it down because he left gender marked as “not seen.”)

So, thanks for your prayers, I am feeling more at peace after that appointment.  I’m assuming this baby may be a bit smaller than Will was, just based on my weight gain and ease of pregnancy so far.  But that definitely wouldn’t be a bad thing seeing as he was one ounce shy of 9 lbs!  So I’ll keep eating and letting this baby do its own thing for now.  I can’t wait for the next 20 weeks to pass by so I can meet him or her.  I think this may be the first time I have actually felt anxious to get to the end, so that is an improvement as well.  Just keep praying for an easy delivery.

Continue Reading

I know this is late, but John (along with the whole mission team) arrived home safely Thursday night around 11:00 pm.  I was able to meet John at the airport while “Tio” stayed with the kids, who were supposedly sleeping.  John had many stories to share of his trip to the Dominican Republic and really enjoyed it.  I’ll have to ask him to make a post to tell you more about it.

We’ve had a busy, but good weekend and I am ready to start a new week.  I’ve already fallen behind on my new schedule goals (including time with God each day) so I think I need to rework my schedule yet again.  But I enjoyed church today and was refreshed and encouraged to begin anew this week.  I actually picked up quite a few things in the sermon that I thought could be very useful in my parenting.  Perhaps if I have time I will write a post to share some of them with you.

I also wanted to share one quick prayer request.  Wednesday morning at 9 or 9:30 (can’t remember exactly right now) I will be at my 20 week doctor appointment and will get the ultrasound that scans for any issues in the baby’s development.  You can pray that the doctor gets good pictures and that the baby is healthy and the right size.  We have had no worries so far, and John and I have decided to forgo the extra tests we did last time to check for heart defects unless my doctor here sees anything that concerns him.  I have to admit that there is a bit of me that is worried, and will hopefully rest a bit easier after getting good scan results.

Continue Reading

I think it safe to say that I do not really enjoy life as a single mom.  But I am learning some things about myself while John is gone, and though some of them are not pleasant revelations, they will turn out for the good I think.  I would like to share some of what God is teaching me right now, but first a quick update on how things are here at the Lein household.

We’ve been busy, especially this weekend.  Wednesday we spent all afternoon shopping with friends.  Thursday I was at the store in the morning while the kids played at “Isabella’s house,” or that is how Elise would say it.  Thursday afternoon I had a lot of orders to get in the mail from the website, so I was busy all afternoon doing that.  That evening Tia and Tio (Bekah and Herbie) came over and watched a movie with me to keep me company.  Friday the store was closed, but I did some misc work until evening when we went to stay at my parents’ house.  We spent the night out there and then Saturday I went back in to run the store all day.  Saturday is usually our biggest retail day at the store, and it turned out to be a pretty good one.  The only issue I ran into was that the checkout system at the store was not working, but thankfully Brad (our amazing programmer) came to the rescue.   Saturday night I woke up with a horrendous illness, but it passed quickly thankfully.  Today we spent the afternoon at Mom’s after church and then came home right before the storms hit.  Now Elise is sleeping next to me in bed because of the lightning.  It is quieting down now, so I will have to move her soon.  Oh, and Will took his first multiple steps this weekend.  Perhaps he will have something to surprise Daddy with when he gets home.
And now, to what I have been learning.  It has become quite obvious to me how much I rely on my husband for.  There are the technical things – like logging someone else onto our wireless internet or taking charge to get a bug in the website fixed.  There are the little things I just never have asked him – like what the password to his computer is (I finally figured out that one) and what are the names of his contacts at work in case they call.  There are the emotional ones – like a comforting presence in the evenings and someone to tell my inner struggles to.  And there are the practical things – like that extra hand with the children (especially in the area of discipline) or someone to take over for me when I don’t feel well or are at my wit’s end.

I started thinking today about all this and began to wonder if I rely too much on my husband.  Especially in the emotional department.  I am not very good alone, I get depressed and I get to overthinking everything (which is possibly what I am doing now).  :)  But is this something that I should be relying on God for?  I know that God made family relationships for a reason, and that when he said it is not good for man to be alone, he probably meant woman too.  But I also know that he wants to be my all in all, the one that completes me.  I also know that even my husband would say that sometimes I am “too submissive.”  I don’t like to make decisions on my own and believe it or not often struggle to give an opionion on things when asked because I am not very opinionated.  I have been working on this area and found that having to make decisions for the store this week is a good step in the right direction.  And so I am finding peace in this in two truths.  One, that I do need my husband and am so thankful that God has given me such a wonderful man to partner with, and two, that I do need to be working more on my relationship with God.  It is easy sometimes to put other relationships in the place of God, or perhaps even to ignore and hide our flaws behind the strengths of another person.

For example, I am not a very good discipliner.  When John and I are parenting as a team, things work fairly well.  But, a good portion of the time I am the one doing the parenting as he is not here most of the day.  And I am beginning to see the areas in which I am lacking.  This was really bothering me this weekend and I found myself before the Lord feeling completely humbled as I saw what a mess I am.  I knew that it is only going to be with God’s help that I improve in this area, and that it is only in my pursuing a deeper relationship with him that it will happen.  It was not a pleasant place to find myself, but it was where I needed to be.  This morning in church I was encouraged through the pastor’s sermon to come boldly before God’s throne and ask his forgiveness.  I know I don’t deserve it, but I do know that because of Jesus’ death that forgiveness is already mine.  I hope that this experience will encourage me to follow through on my intentions this time around.  It is often that I have failed to fit time with God into my busy schedule.  But each day is full of decisions and I plan on making a better one in this area tomorrow.

Continue Reading

For those of you that don’t know, John left this morning to go with our church youth group to the Dominican Republic.  They will be building a church building there and doing ministry services.  He’ll be gone through next Wednesday, so tonight I am trying to accustom myself to the idea of him not being here for that long.

During the days I think I will be so busy not to notice.  Well, except for when something goes wrong with the store or website, which I am running without him this week.  But hopefully things will run smoothly.  But in the evenings I get a bit depressed without him here, so you all can pray for me that I will stay upbeat.  And of course, pray for the mission trip that it will be successful (despite the many days of rain in the forecast) and that the team will stay safe.

Well, I better start wrapping things up so that I can get some sleep.  I am working the store tomorrow morning.  Oh, and thanks to everyone who is helping me with childcare when I need to be at the store this week.  It is a great help, and greatly needed with John gone.

Continue Reading