Miriam's Life

Elise and Will both had well-child checks and immunizations today.  Here are the updates for the two of them:

Elise–Elise is a worrier.  I imagine that she must be a little like I was as a kid because Mom always called me a worrier.  I am learning how to help her through her worries, but made several mistakes yesterday.  The first mistake was mentioning that we were going to the doctor today.  She knew already that the next time she went to the doctor would be for shots, so that got her started thinking about shots.  Then I made my second mistake.  In order to help her realize why we do shots I told her about some of the illnesses that the shots help to prevent.  Now she is terrified of mumps.  She calls it the puffing up sickness and is sure that she might get it.  Not only is she a worrier, but she is very bright and so can spot any flaws in my logic.  “Mom,” she says, “what if I get sick tonight! before I get the shot tomorrow?”  I had already told her that Uncle Ben had had mumps and he’s fine, but now I was worried she’d ask me if he had had his shot before he got it (which he had).  Thankfully she didn’t spot that hole.  So all this morning and last evening we’ve been having conversations about the shots and mumps and throwing up.  Yes, throwing up.  She says she doesn’t like throwing up and was quite upset that they didn’t have a shot for that.  Sigh . . .

She was weighed and measured first.  33 1/2 lbs. and 40 in. tall.  10th percentile for both weight and height, but the doctor assures me this is fine.  He says she looks perfect, but since they don’t have measurements on her for awhile (I haven’t had her in for a well check since she was 2), he wants to weigh her again when we do Will’s 9 month check-up.  That way we can make sure she is continuing to grow, but otherwise, she is just small.  He asked about her eating habits, which I am pretty sure are normal for a 4-yr-old, but I did tell him she eats very little.  I asked him about vitamins, which he said don’t hurt if she likes them, but not to force them if she doesn’t, but rather just make sure she is eating a variety of foods.  We’ve never tried vitamins, so we might try them just to see if she likes them.  Her ears, eyes, heart, lungs, stomach, and everything else looks great.  He asked if her eyesight has been checked, which it hasn’t, but he said she is tracking really well, and he doubts there is a problem.  Nevertheless, the recommendation is to check them before kindergarten.  Elise was very comfortable and chatted about everything from throwing up to ballet.  I did ask his opinion on ballet as a sport and if there were any health issues to watch for if she sticks with it.  For her age he said that there is nothing and that ballet is actually one of the better sports as far as injuries because they remain so limber and flexible.  If she were to continue into her teenage years then there are some worries with ankles and feet, but that is just the cost of the sport.
Will–Will of course is not a worrier.  :)  He was happy and calm this morning as he always is at 8:00 in the morning after eating.  He weighs 17 lbs and is 26 inches long.  He is in the 95th percentile.  Dr. Youmans says this is not necessarily an indication that he will be large as an adult though.  Everything looks good for him as well except for some chapped skin on the cheeks, a diaper rash and a small dry area of skin that needs medication.  Oh, and he has some congestion that just showed up in the last couple of days, but is not a problem unless it interferes with eating, which it doesn’t right now.  We discussed starting Will on solid food.  We are welcome to start “playing around” with it now if we want, but Will definitely does not need it.  We don’t have to give him any until he is a year old if he continues to grow as he is now.  If we do start any now, we need to not overdo it because there is a chance that we could make him overweight, which is not good.  So, I’ll be discussing this more with John before we do anything.

Then came time for shots.  Will was first.  He started crying and then Elise started crying.  I was there myself, so the nurse had me take Elise out of the room while she finished with Will.  Elise started telling me she wanted to wait until she was 5 to get her shots (but was a little worried about getting mumps before then).  Sigh . . .  I told her that we were not waiting (I did not want to go through the anticipation for no reason and spend the next several weeks or months listening to her worry about getting sick because she didn’t get them).  As soon as the nurse returned with Elise’s shots Elise started yelling “I don’t want a shot, I don’t want a shot.”  Will was already calmed down and starting to get sleepy, so the doctor was kind enough to hold him for me.  I held Elise while she got a total of three shots.  Two in one arm and one in the other.  The whole time she was screaming pretty loudly, but finally started to calm down by the third one.  I talked her into stopping her tears so that she wouldn’t upset Will and then we rejoined Will and got 3 prizes for Elise (one for each shot).

The one thing I am a little frustrated with is that we were unable to get the chicken pox booster for Elise.  Two years ago I gave her the chicken pox vaccine without thinking through the fact that I was willingly placing her in a group of guinea pigs as the shot was fairly new.  I wish I had waited just to see if she could get it naturally.  Now they are recommending boosters, and the doctor expects they will continue to recomend boosters their whole life.  I asked if by some rare occurence Elise were to get the chicken pox now naturally even after being vaccinated if then we wouldn’t have to get any more boosters, and he said “no.”  The shot apparently changes their system so that they can not guarantee they are safe even after getting it.  Unfortunately the clinic was back-ordered on the shot, so that means I’ll have to take Elise to the health department to get it.  And I had told her that the shots she got today would be it for a long time.  I have learned my lesson and will not mention this other shot to her until we are ready to get it.  She doesn’t have to have it until she is 6, so maybe we’ll wait awhile.

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OK, just for fun I have started a new research project on family resemblance.  It is really interesting to me to take specific features and compare them with those from other family members.  I have learned several things about our family’s eyes and noses.  I have gotten so into it that I’ve decided to take some better pictures to get better focus on the features and similar lighting, etc.  But just to share with you one of the most interesting things I learned take a look at the eyes below.

Can you figure out who each set belongs to?  Notice the similarities in the first two eye shapes.   Those are Elise’s eyes and mine.  Now notice the similar eye shape between the next two.  Aren’t they handsome!  Those are John’s and Will’s.  The last set of eyes belong to Emma.  I was surprised and pleased to see that the shape of her eyes match Will’s and that this eye shape comes from John, which in turn comes from John’s mom (Nana).  I am also pleased to see that she shares a tiny bit of my eye characteristics below her eyes.  (Notice the lovely “sagginess” for lack of a better word.  That comes from my Mom (Grandma).  Elise also gets her dark lashes and eyebrows from the Lein family (you can see them in Mark and Megan’s coloring).

This may not fascinate you as much as it does me, but hopefully you can see the same things I do.  The thing I discovered that meant the most to me was that by looking at Will’s eyes I can see just a little bit of Emma there.  I hadn’t seen it before (and because he’s so chubby his eyes appear a lot smaller than hers, but the likeness is there).

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Hello all.

We’ve had a busy weekend, but Megan (John’s sister) and Doug are married and off on their honeymoon.  The wedding went very smoothly and was beautiful.  Many of you were probably there.  For those of you that weren’t, John was a photographer for the wedding, so I’ll see if I can steal a few photos to post.  Elise was a flowergirl and I was a bridesmaid.  Will’s job was to just look cute, which he accomplished quite well.  I hadn’t realized how little I would be able to take care of him that day.  But thankfully my mom helped by making sure he was clean, dressed, and fed.  He took a total of 3 bottles, the most he’s ever had in a day, but didn’t complain too much about that.

I was encouraged during the women’s retreat to declutter my house and life.  So this week, Elise and I are starting a new stricter schedule.  I figured it would be a good week to start since we only have to stick to it 3 days before we take off again for Thanksgiving.  Of course we are already off schedule.  I’m not complaining though, because the reason is that Will just decided to sleep later for his nap than I expected.  I am just now hearing him begin to wake up and he’s been asleep for over an hour!  As far as naptimes go, I have had a much easier time the last couple of days getting him to take naps himself, so perhaps we are entering a new phase.

Other things we are putting into our schedule are: cleaning (including a small list of chores just for Elise), exercise (I forgot I was supposed to get up early to do that this morning, but in the future I plan on getting up before the kids and working out), preschool, craft time for both Elise and I, “passion” time for me (This is something I decided to put in after the women’s retreat, which talked about doing what you are passionate about, for me it will eventually be writing a book, but I must first start with taking the time to get some deeper cleaning done so that I can do the writing with a free mind), free time, and of course naptimes for all of us.

Well, since Will is awake, I need to now go and feed him.  Keep an eye out for pictures of the wedding.

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Do you ever feel in the middle?  Do you ever feel that you don’t completely fit in either of two normal places?  I do all the time.  Because I don’t fit any more.

I look at those of my friends who have 3 children and I think, “That should be me.  I have 3 kids.  But you can’t see them, and for all practical considerations I only have two.”
Then I look at my friends who have 2 children and I realize I don’t quite fit there either.  Sure to everyone who doesn’t know my story it appears that I have only two kids.  Ironically, when I am out with Will everyone assumes I only have one kid.  I guess I look too young to have had 3 children, so that’s not a bad thing.  But sometimes my heart aches to yell out to curious strangers, “I have three children!”  I always say I have three children, but unless they start asking questions to figure out which one’s missing, I usually leave it at that.
Suffice it to say that my family is incomplete.  There is always a peice of us missing, and that peice carries with her a huge part of my heart.  I am whole in Christ, and I am learning that through him I find my completeness.  Sure I don’t fit the mold, but who truly does?  And if being in the middle means I am drawn closer to heaven, how can that be a bad thing?  It’s not.  I embrace the uniqueness of our family, but that doesn’t mean I don’t often wish I were carting around a third child.  The middle child.  The one who I miss almost every day.  My heart aches for her right now.

When my arms are filled with Will, I am thankful, but I am also sad.  Two years ago my arms were filled with another child.  Sometimes I wish it were her I were holding.  Don’t misunderstand me, I would never trade Will for Emma, but I would gladly share him with Emma.  He’ll never know her.  Not until heaven that is.  The way he watches Elise with so much interest reminds me of how Emma used to watch Elise.  Wouldn’t it be nice if he could share that same connection with Emma that he has with Elise?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all walk together to heaven?

I know I am not the only one in the middle.  All of us probably find someplace where we look at others and realize we are different.  And I know there are many other moms who find themselves counting a child who is missing.  Some of them are missing more than one.  And so to all of you who are different, may the Lord meet you in the middle.

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Will did a three quarter roll from his back to his tummy.  I say 3/4 because his arm was still stuck underneath him.  He’s only done it once so far, but soon I know he will be rolling all over the place.

He must be doing some other complicated wiggling and maneuvering as well because this morning when I got up to get him, he had turned completely around.  His head was facing the opposite end of the crib than he had started the night on.

As far as sleeping, he is still sleeping about 11 hours straight each night.  He wakes about 7:00 in the morning, and even seems to have adjusted fine to daylight savings time change.  He is still not going down on his own though.  Every once in awhile I can put him down and he’ll go right to sleep, but more often he will cry.  If I leave him crying, sometimes he’ll calm himself in 20 minutes, sometimes longer.  I have not been very consistent on this, so I know it is hard for him to learn what he needs to.  Last evening he desperately needed a nap and after letting him cry for about 30 minutes because I desperately needed to work on supper, I finally gave up and got him up and nursed him.  Then I laid him back down and he cried himself to sleep in about 20 minutes.  When I went to check on him he was asleep sucking determinedly on his fingers.

This weekend we also bought the convertible carseat I had known he would need.  I love it!  I do miss my carrier careseat at Wal-Mart though.  Now I have to carry Will in the baby bjorn, but he was happy for my last grocery trip in there.  I also miss being able to transfer a sleeping baby from the car.  Now, since I have to unbuckle him and get him out when we get home, he usually wakes up and won’t go back to sleep.  So that means I need to schedule my trips a bit better.

Welll, that is it from the baby news.  Hope you all enjoyed the weather yesterday.  Elise, Will and I were at the park all morning with friends.  It was beautiful!

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It is November now!!!  Wow!  I keep telling people Will is 3 months old and today I realized he is more like 3 1/2 months old.  Technically he should be approaching his first big milestone–turning over.  He is most definitely in size 6-9 months.  I keep trying to fit him into 3-6 month clothes only to have legs and arms and tummies sticking out.  I tried on his outfit for the wedding today.  I would wait to post it so people wouldn’t see it before the wedding, but there is the slight possibility that it will no longer fit him in two weeks time.  And to think I was worried it would be too big.  So here is a picture in case he grows out of it:

I’m not sure how long the bow tie will last.  It barely clips on because the shirt is so tight and Will thinks it’s fun to pull it off.  He doesn’t seem to mind hats though.  Yesterday he dressed up as a pea for Halloween complete with stem hat.  Unfortunately I did not get pictures; I will have to put their costumes back on and get pictures sometime.  Elise was a princess and Will was a pea pod.  So we decided they would be the “Princess and the Pea.”  Here are some pictures of Elise’s jack-o-lantern.  It is tradition that she does this with Daddy each year.  Since we got such an expensive pumpkin this year (Elise wanted this color instead of orange), I am going to try to get double duty out of it and make it into a pie.

We are doing well, though I have to admit I am feeling a bit overwhelmed still.  I have recently weaned off my anti-depressants, so I would appreciate your prayers that I will do fine without them.  I am a bit more moody, but otherwise am doing all right.  I am stressed, but I think that is because of our hectic life right now.  I was feeling cooped up today since we have been stuck inside sewing and living life and missing the nice weather.  So we “escaped” today.  Elise was off from dance class this week for fall break, and so we ran errands this morning and spent lunchtime at Laura’s house.  Elise got to play outside once it warmed up and I got some much needed friend time.  Will’s down for a nap now, so I have some stuff to get ready for Mothering Matters tomorrow and then I’m going to try to get the sleeves put on my dress.

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