Right now, I am taking a break in my day. Not because I’ve reached a point where I finished my to do list and have plenty of time for a break, but rather because I have come to the place where if I don’t take a break, I will probably regret it later. I actually meant to take a nap today, but that didn’t happen. I meant to have all the bills written and the sewing done by now, but that didn’t happen either. As a matter of fact not many things are happening these days. School has taken over and is eating all the time, and my energy as well.

I think the subjects are going well. I am enjoying the time I am spending with Elise, but I do admit it seems like it would be much more rewarding if I didn’t have the boys clamoring for attention as well. Monday started off okay, though even then I realized how hard the year will be. John was home since it was labor day and he took the boys for the morning so I could concentrate on school with no distractions. Even with the boys gone, it took us all the way until lunch time to finish our scheduled school (well, most of it, we had to put off some reading). That was when I realized that the time I had allotted for the school work was not going to be enough.

On Tuesday, my sister showed up and I was surprised to see her even though I know she always comes Tuesday mornings to watch the kids. I thought I’d accomplish great things while she was there for 2 hours, but instead ended up using most of the time to just sort out car and insurance issues. Later that day John called needing some paperwork from me. I was less than gracious as I stepped over the timeline which refused to stick to the wall, answered the phone holding a book I was reading aloud to Elise in one hand, and tried to talk over the piano the boys were playing. It seems like the only time I wasn’t trying to read over the boys’ noise that morning was when they had wandered off quite quietly to cover themselves with the last remains of my make-up, including mascara. I guess I won’t be wearing makeup again anytime soon. As I talked to John I realized it was already 12:30 and I had not even began to plan lunch. Sigh. The rest of the afternoon wasn’t much better. Once the kids went down for nap, I had to find the paperwork for John and start cleaning off my desk. I had great hopes of writing the bills and doing some sewing, but before I knew it we were headed off to dance. While I was at dance, I realized that I had left my uneaten lunch warming in the oven. It was basically a piece of charcoal when we returned home, and I was noticeably hungry. I had planned a craft project for when we returned home from dance. But of course, after chatting away to friends, dropping a friend off, going to the grocery store to get some things for supper, and finally heading home, I really wasn’t interested in trying to squeeze a craft in before supper. Besides, I still had all my to do list to start on. That evening I spent pretty much my whole time finishing up a custom blanket, which was wonderful to get off my list, but which meant I still had bills, other sewing, and misc things to do.

Today, I hoped things would go better. Because of the rain, John took the car, so I was stuck here. Surely, I though, we will get so much done and be done quickly. But again, despite our starting fairly early, we worked almost until lunchtime yet again. It didn’t help that I had several interruptions to take Will to the bathroom (who is working really hard on finishing potty-training, but is now having issues with knowing when he really needs to go), clean up broken glass from the snack bowl that got left on the table, change a diaper when Will didn’t make it to the bathroom, comfort Seth whenever he thought he just needed some extra attention, and answer Will’s persistent arguments about a broken toy. He has decided that the words “But I don’t want to,” hold some sway in an argument and will use them as his only defense against something I’ve instructed him to do. Amazing how long of an argument he can sustain on those 5 words. I had a new potential seamstress drop by at 12, and I think I made sense as I struggled to instruct her on what she needed to do while feeling like my brain was beginning to slip away. In the background several geography songs were playing on repeat while the kids colored pictures. You might hear me humming these as they are beginning to play over and over again in my head. But on the plus side, I can now name the countries of Western Europe. Hopefully they’ll work as well on Elise as they are on me.

I now have so many things to do on my to do list, that I don’t know where to start. Right this moment I think I am supposed to be making an Italian dessert with Elise as part of our Italian study. Will should probably be wearing pants instead of just a diaper. And I should have all my embroidery done for the day. But instead, I am taking a break. Elise and Will are playing happily outside in the rain, something Elise says she “NEVER” gets to do and has been begging to do every time it sprinkles. Seth has just finished his snack and is sitting contentedly beside me. I think I will try to enjoy this moment before it gets crazy again.

There are many reasons why I home-school, and I guess after a post like this, I might get asked for some of those reasons, but I will save those for another time. Right now, I will just say, that despite all the craziness, the stress, and the undone chores, I would not trade my chance to teach my children at home for anything.

I’m excited too. John and I had a little laugh over the kids complaints at the cold and explained that it isn’t really cold, it just feels cold after the really hot weather we’ve been having. Elise still insists that it is cold and is now wearing long sleeves and pants. I, on the other hand, have on shorts and a short sleeve shirt and am sitting completely comfortably on the couch enjoying the cool breeze airing out our house. It is so nice to be breathing real fresh air instead of the recycled air conditioning for once.

I love fall. It brings with it so many wonderful memories, and a few sad ones, so it is kind of a time of reflection for me. As soon as I smell a hint of fall in the air, my spirits lift and I feel like I could sing or dance. I needed that today. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling rather low emotionally, and it is nice to have something as simple as the change in the weather alter that mood.

I think today is the day to work on the school schedule. I’ve got to plan out the first few weeks of school and make sure we are ready to start in a week and a half. I’m still not sure how I will fit everything into my days since I still have a lot to do that is not school, but I’m excited. I’ve had a great summer break, but it is time to start again.

Conversations with the kids:

Will: What we do ‘night?
Me: We have to go to Fayettville.
Will: After we come home, what we do?
Me: Then we’ll eat supper. Nothing special going on tonight.
Will: Oh, we eat with Dad?
Me: No, Dad is not here. Remember he is gone on a trip, he will be gone for several days.
Will: Oh.

Elise (to our employee Melissa who brought a dog to play today): Can I go with you to take the dog home?
Melissa: Well, I don’t know if that would work very well, because then I would have to go to my house and then bring you back with the dog in the car.
Elise: So? That’s OK.
Melissa: But then it is just like you are going for a ride with the dog.
Elise: That’s fine with me.

Will (at naptime): Where’s Dad?
Me: He’s on his trip, remember?
Will: I want to go.
Me: He already left, you can’t go.
Will: But I want to go.
Me: Will you aren’t old enough to go.

Me (during clean up time in Will’s room): Will, I need your help. Where are you?
(I hear the garage door open and close and Will’s voice from the hallway): Right here!
(I come around the corner to discover him holding a screw driver poised to puncture the large beach ball he’s been playing with.)
Me: Will, don’t do that! You will break it and then you won’t be able to use it again. Don’t get into Dad’s tools! Now come and help me in your room. I have a job for you. Come on big boy!
Will: Big HUGE boy! Big huge MEAN boy!

Elise (after just starting Othello with me and discovering it is harder to play without Daddy sitting next to her giving her advice even though when he does she is annoyed by it): I think I want to play another game. This one is too had without someone helping me.
Me: No, let’s finish this game.
Elise: Please, I don’t want to play this game.
Me: You need to finish it. Didn’t you play it with Nana by yourself. And then you won?
Elise: But she wasn’t playing it the right way. It is easy when you don’t play the right way (we discovered after she’d played it twice we’d left out a rule)
Me: Well, we are either going to play this game or no game tonight.
Elise (after playing and losing and now in tears): It’s not fun to lose.
Me: Elise, having fun playing the game is more important than winning.
Elise: But I want to win.
Me: If you can’t learn how to lose, then maybe you shouldn’t be playing.
Elise: But I want to play the game.
Me: Well, next time we play if you can’t lose gracefully, then maybe I will decide not to play this game with you again.
Elise: But I want someone to play with me!
Me: Well, do you like to win?
Elise: (just looks at me)
Me: Don’t you think other people might like to win too? Don’t you think you should be happy for them when they win? If you always won and everyone else always lost, do you think that would be fun for them? And if you always cry every time you lose, no one will want to play with you.
Elise: If we had been playing another game I wouldn’t be crying.

Another lesson in Williamese:
Qualifiers: Some words must have qualifiers in order to have any meaning at all. Examples include:
up, up high
big huge
and way far or way loud or way just about anything.

We did crafts again today after taking a week off because the kids were all running temperatures off and on last week. This morning they all woke up fever-free and fairly happy. I say fairly, because Seth has still been occasionally grumpy enough for me to wonder if he is hurting somewhere, but with no other symptoms it is impossible to tell.

The kids wanted to do monster puppets. The book said to use juice cans, which we did not have, so I cut up paper towel tubes for them instead. I helped them get started with covering their cardboard tubes with paper and adding noses and eyes. After a bit, I just let them go at it with scissors and glue because they were doing so well on their own. You can see their creations. I made Seth’s for him, and after the pictures, he promptly tore it all apart and ate the pieces. In case you are wondering, Will is making a scary face. It was the only way he would cooperate for a photo.

#2. After picking our own peaches in a past the season orchard with an apparently very bored child, who complained most of the time we were there.
Me: “Did you have fun?”
Elise: “Yes.”
Me: “Really? Even after getting lost, having to go to the bathroom and being really thirsty?”
Elise: “Yep.”
Me: “Well, it was kind of hard to tell.”

#3. After Will sees me trying one of the peaches we brought home.
Will: “I want one! I want my own one.”
Me: “Here (cutting him a bite of mine), here’s your own one.”
Will: “No, I want my own big one from there (points to box).”
Me: “Well, try this piece first to see if you like it.”
Will: (Licks the piece) “Me no like this. Me have my own?”
Me: “If you don’t like that one, you won’t like your own.”
Will: “Why?”
Me: “Because they taste the same.”
Will: “Oh.”

#4. Will was trying to copy me by trying to get Seth to show off and say all the names he knows.
Will: Say Memaw Seth.
Seth: Mama
Will: Say Elise Seth.
Seth: Eese.
Will: Say Me Seth.
Seth (not even hesitating): Wull (that’s how he says Will)

#5. Elise finds a hangar that belongs in my closet.
Elise: Wow! Why is this hangar so big?
Me: That’s my hangar.
Elise: But why is it so big? My hangars aren’t this big.
Me: Because it is an adult hangar. Your hangars are kids hangars. I’m bigger than you, so my clothes are bigger than yours.
Elise (still apparently at awe at the sheer size of it): Well, this is like 3 times bigger than my hangars.

In between the yells, screams, and arguments that are becoming quite common in our house, there are moments like this. In fact, if I am completely honest, I think these moments outnumber the other less enjoyable ones, it is just that since I feel responsible for their behavior, it is easier to focus on all the times they are at each others’ throats.

But the truth is, my kids really do love each other. They might not say it, but they show it multiple times each day. Like when Will climbs into bed next to Elise after she has been declared sick and says “Now me read you a book Eese.” Or when Elise makes a house for the boys on their new bunk bed with her blanket. And it shows up in the multiple times Elise will sit down and read the boys a book.

I know I worry about all the “bad” habits Elise is teaching the boys. I see her negative actions and words reflected in their behavior already. But there are plenty of good things she teaches them too. Because of her, the boys are developing a love of reading and books that they did not have before. With her encouragement, Will has discovered the joy of cutting and coloring, and making elaborate craft projects. Her interactions have encouraged them to develop very active imaginations (just like hers). It is so fun to watch them all play something as simple as pretending to be a family, to something much more complicated like trying to steal eggs from an angry mother bird (Elise is usually the bird). Even Seth gets into the play-acting now. Even her love of outdoors and wonder at God’s creation is shared eagerly with her brothers. I am sure that they will be begging to do school by the time they reach kindergarten because of her ability to show how learning can be so fun.

It’s been awhile since I’ve stated it, but I love having multiple children. I love watching the relationships develop. I love how attached they are to each other and how protective they can be of each other. Their relationships are so simple, which I think makes them stronger. Sure, they fight and yell and scream at each other when they get frustrated. We are working on that. But because they are so honest with their emotions, they don’t get bogged down with all the complications that adults have in their relationships. To them I think it is clear. I love you. Sometimes I can’t stand you, but I will always love you. And I will always forgive you. I hope that is true of them into adulthood. I hope they are building the foundations to relationships that will support them through life as they venture out on their own.

Breakfast was English muffins. We are out of 2% milk again. Somehow we went through an entire gallon in just 3 days. Sometime this morning I decided to not follow the normal schedule today. Perhaps it started as early as 6:30 when I didn’t get out of bed to exercise. Perhaps it was at 8:30 when I noticed there weren’t THAT many clothes to fold, so it wouldn’t be horrible to put it off until tomorrow. Most likely it was when I sat down at my computer and started researching buttons. (Despite how it sounds, this is a necessary part of my day today). I got so into researching and searching for a supplier, I eventually made a conscious choice to not stop at 9:30 to do craft time as usual.

The morning was interrupted by several breakdowns concerning Elise. I have been taking a pretty tough approach with her talking back and arguing and this has resulted in plenty of tears, whines, and complaints. If the bad response to my directions or punishments goes on too long, I start adding more punishments on. So far, she hasn’t seemed to get a clue about how to stop, but I’m hoping if I stay consistent, things will start to improve. I am just tired of disrespect from her and have decided on a no tolerance policy.

To describe how this plays out, let me describe to you what happened the other day on the way home from Fayettville. Elise was complaining because she couldn’t hear the music above the boys (who are often quite rowdy and loud by the time we head home). Eventually her complaints gave way to ranting and raving at the boys themselves. Once her complaints and bossiness became unbearable to my ears, I turned off the music completely. “Mom, I want the music on,” she complained. “Well, you were complaining about the noise, so now it is quieter in here,” I said. “But Mom . . .” You can imagine the rest of the conversation. When she refused to stop complaining and arguing and accept my decision, I said that when we got home she could not play outside. This decision caused her to go into almost hysterical complaints, whines, and excuses. “Please, Mom, please, choose a different punishment.” When I assured her that this is the way it was going to be, she started screaming, and so I told her that now she would also not be able to read at all this evening. This produced even higher hysterics. I was finally able to calm her down some by explaining that if she kept complaining and screaming and basically throwing a fit, I would find something else to take away as well. After a bit of quiet crying in the back, Elise says to me: “You completely ruined my day!” “What?” I reply, “Elise if your day is indeed ruined, which is debatable, you have no one to blame but yourself. It was your own choices which caused you to lose your privileges.” “Well, you aren’t making me happy,” she said. We were home finally, and I started unloading kids and purchases. Elise, on her way out of the car, gives Will a solid punch stating, “It’s all your fault I got in trouble in the first place since you wouldn’t be quiet!” She was subsequently sent to her room with the instruction that she would receive suitable punishment for hitting her brother once I could think of one. She wasn’t aloud out until supper time. Just before supper I sat down with her and tried to explain her actions and my responses. Can you believe that after all that, she claimed to not have any idea what she had done wrong? So one by one, I listed the mistakes she had made and then ended by trying to explain that a punishment isn’t supposed to be something you like and how she should correctly respond to one, even though it makes her very sad. We had a practice run when I announced that her punishment for hitting Will would be going to bed early. She actually accepted it quite well. Perhaps she is learning, but after her actions today, I see that it hasn’t sunken in completely yet, I guess we’ll have to wade through the increasing punishments a bit more before she realizes how to hold her tongue.

So, back to today. Ten o’clock arrived and I did take a break to pop some popcorn for snack time. I sat the kids down at the table and returned later to find the whole bowl of popcorn dumped out on the table. When Will saw me coming he quickly ducked under the table to hide. He had a small pile of sugar on the table in front of him and the sugar spoon from the sugar bowl that he’d been using to transfer the sugar. Seth was yelling in his chair to be let down. Not, as I found, because he was full of popcorn, but instead because he wanted to share in the sweetness Will had discovered. I ended snack-time, cleaned up all the crumbs and sugar off the table and swept the floor. I explained to Will that he had to be done with snack now because he was stealing the sugar. “Seth do it,” he politely lied.

A phone call came in, an interesting one, actually. Half way through, something crashed in the kitchen. That is the moment that the sugar bowl died. I led Seth away from the mess and finished up my phone call. Then I returned to clean up sugar from the chair Seth had been standing on and the tile floor. I picked up the remnants of my sugar bowl and stacked them on the counter. I’m thankful Elise didn’t see it, as she tends to be pretty dramatic about losing precious things like this. Later as I was holding Seth I realized, he still had sugar caked on his cheeks. “You have sugar on your cheeks,” I laughed. Seth, thinking this was a great discovery, begin scraping it off his cheeks and sucking his fingers. He has no regrets, why would you put something as tasty as sugar in a bowl anyway?

We had a great time today visiting Terra Studios. I’ve never been before, and I have to say it is a great place to spend an afternoon with your kids. Complete with studios for glass sculpture and pottery, many of the items that are made there are displayed throughout the grounds.

We arrived at noon and enjoyed a picnic lunch in the picnic area. Seth was still tired from staying up for fireworks last night, but Brennan (who had apparently had a good morning nap) was able to get him laughing.

Trash trolls kept guard over the grounds and encouraged you to discard your trash by feeding them. Seth was a little nervous, but the other kids were excited about depositing their trash from lunch into the wide open troll’s mouths.

After wandering through the woods, discovering creatively placed sculptures, the kids all took a run through the labryinth. We were there with some friends, so all the kids made quite a group. Pottery observation started at 1:00, which excited Elise. She said after the day was done that that was her favorite part. The lady making bowls had a great time joking with her audience of kids. She got them all laughing and even shared some clay with each of them. Most of the girls decided against keeping the clay once they felt how slimy it was. But Will had a great time creating different things with his piece and carried it around with him for the rest of the time we were there. After the pottery, we explored some more of the creatively decorated buildings and watched the glass craftsman making the bluebirds of happiness.

We had missed both his 12 month and his 15 month vaccinations, so we needed to get quite a few shots today. Because of the combo shots now available, they were able to combine them all in three different actual injections. I had dosed Seth with tylenol before we left and brought his special lovey in case he got upset. The nurse handed him a yellow duckie as his prize and he happily started chewing on it while we positioned him for his shots. First shot, no obvious reaction from him. He merely lay quite still looking very serious. Second shot was the same. Finally on the 3rd shot he winced slightly and whimpered. That was it! I put his pants back on and stood him up and he started smiling and chewing on his “uckie” (his name for the duck). We even lost the duck on the way out to the car, and he didn’t even seem to notice.

Perhaps Elise will have learned a lesson in not over-reacting by observing Seth’s calm behavior. :) I had to break the news to her today that she is still missing one childhood shot (she kept stating to everyone that she doesn’t need another shot until she is 16). What she didn’t realize is she needs a chicken pox booster sometime soon since they were out when I took her in for her last round of shots. She wasn’t really happy, but didn’t start bawling like she would have just last year, so perhaps we are making progress. :)