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There are so many times I think I should write down some of the things Elise says or does and then don’t, so tonight I am going to take the time to record at least one of them here.  You will hopefully be interested in what goes on in a 5 year old’s mind.

Elise has been very interested in what a casino is.  Especially since the Cherikee Casino finished their brand new fancy building complete with cascading waterfall, she has been asking plenty of questions.  One day she asked me to clarify what goes on there, and so I tried to explain it in the best way possible.  I told her that people played games there, but if you didn’t win the game then you lost money.  I tried to express my opinion that it wasn’t a good use of your time.  She mentioned that she had had a conversation with Daddy on the topic too.  Between his information and mine she had a pretty good picture that the casino was a place she shouldn’t go (and in her mind that no one should go).  She told me that someone should tell the people that worked there that it wasn’t nice to take other people’s money.    And so we had another conversation about the fact that not everyone thinks it is wrong.

Anyway, today (a couple week’s since our conversation), Elise was in the back of the car and started quietly crying.  She does this a lot, so I wasn’t too surprised, but I did ask her what was wrong.  Here are her words as well as I can remember them:  “I was thinking that I went to the casino place, but I didn’t win the games.  And then they took away all my money.”  (I was about to jump in and mention that she didn’t really have any money, until . . .) “And they came and broke my piggy bank.”

As you can probably tell, Elise is a bit over-dramatic.  Before Christmas she misunderstood something I said and thought that Will was only getting one present.  “But Mom,” she wailed, “He will be heartbroken!”
Life has been different as Will gets old enough to be more of an influence in his and Elise’s relationship.  Sibling relationships add a whole new dimension to our family.  Today Elise was crying because Will didn’t want to play with her.  She was convinced it was because she had not let him do something he had wanted.  I tried to explain it was just because he was hungry (instead of playing he was standing on the stool watching me make breakfast and trying to snag anything edible when I wasn’t looking), but she didn’t believe me.  She decided she wanted the stool and kept trying to ask Will if she could use it, which of course has no effect on a 17 month old.  The other day when I had told her she and Will couldn’t share the stool, she had tried to lure him away with his blanket, so she could jump back on it when he got off.  Since I had vetoed that method, she was resorting to continually asking him over and over again, which was getting on my nerves.  As Elise’s frustration rose as well, I ended up saying something short to Will because he had grabbed the dough I was working on.  Elise, I think seeing her chance to vent her anger and possibly getting away with it, jumped in and swatted Will on the bottom.  I turned around and swatted her on her bottom and sent her to her room.

At other times though, they get along together like little angels.  Well, maybe not angels, angels I think are probably quieter.  But they have fun together.  Running around with plastic toy containers on their heads, pretending a long cardboard tube is a horn, playing the piano, and dressing up, are all things they like to do together.

Will still doesn’t talk much, but every once in awhile he’ll spit out a word, which makes us all think he can talk more than he lets on.  He told Tio (Herbie) “thanks” when he handed him a drink.  He told Nana “hop, hop, hop” as they played with little rabbit cookies.  So, there are words in there, we just have to work hard to get them out.

Seth is doing well too.  He is quiet compared to the other two.  When they are yelling, he is usually quietly sleeping, or just observing the goings on in his quiet manner.  But don’t let him fool you completely.  Once the older kids are in bed and he has Mommy and Daddy to himself, he will often work himself into some of the worst screaming fits I have ever seen or heard.  Thankfully, this doesn’t happen too often.  Usually he is happy and contented and makes the cutest little cooing sounds.  He smiles all the time now, and is even trying to get a laugh out every so often.

He is sleeping a pretty good 6 hour chunk most nights.  His bedtime needs to be moved up a bit still, but we are all getting pretty good sleep.  He must be getting plenty of nutrition as 3 weeks ago he was 10 lbs 11 oz.  At almost 6 weeks, I am sure he has put on more.  I gave him a bath the other night and was delighted to see that his legs and arms are starting to chunk up a bit.

Well, this has gotten to be quite a long update.  I hope you all had a great Christmas, I know we did.  We are having issues posting pictures right now, but hopefully soon I can share some with you.

Well, things are going well.  I know it will be a long time before I am used to being mom to 3 kids.  I imagine not much will be done in a day for quite some time.

Thanks for all your prayers for the post partum depression.  I am feeling pretty close to normal since yesterday.  The only anxiety I have now is from being a bit overwhelmed with life and responsibilities, but that is a normal anxiety, not at all the unexplainable nervousness I was feeling on Wednesday.  So, it looks like starting the anti-depressants right after birth cut down my transition time to just about 24 hours of real hard emotional adjustment.  Of course, I thank God for answered prayers in this as well.  He is good!

Physically I am doing better.  Yesterday I ended the day in a lot of pain, but it is not quite so bad today, so hopefully I am improving.  I do not feel as weak today either, though it will be quite some time before I am feeling as strong as I was before giving birth.

Seth is doing excellent.  My milk came in yesterday and already I see some improvement in his skin color.  He is still a bit yellow, but I think we are past the worst part.  He is sleeping better too.  We have decided the gassiness his first night home must have had to do with some garlic I had that day, so needless to say I will be staying away from that for now.  Our goal now with him is getting him to sleep somewhere other than our bed at night.  It is handy to have him right there as he nurses every two hours at night, but it is harder for me to sleep as I feel cramped with him next to me.  I also don’t feel that he is as safe in our bed.  So, we’ll start training him to sleep outside our bed.

The older kids came home last night after our Thanksgiving celebrations.  This morning was a new experience with getting 3 kids dressed and fed with a minimum of tears and injuries.  I am glad that Elise and Will have done so well with sleeping in the same room though.  This morning I heard them both singing to each other in their beds while they waited for someone to come get Will out of his crib.  Elise loves her new little brother “Teth” as well and asks to hold him as often as possible.  Will seems to like him to, though he can’t quite figure out what he is good for or how to interact with him.  Will seems to have grown so big in just the few days he was gone.  I know he didn’t change that much, but having a little one to compare him to, makes him seem huge and such a big boy.
For the next few days we will be living life at a minimum as I continue to heal and we adjust to a new normal.  I’m looking forward to showing off Seth to many of you on Sunday.  Thanks for your prayers.

As promised I wanted to share a bit more of what is going on since Seth was born.  This is really long, so if you don’t want to read it all, that is fine.  You can skip to the end to read the specific prayer requests I have.

As you all know, I have a history of post-partum depression, so shortly after labor I was reminding the doctor that I wanted to start the anti-depressants as soon as possible, especially since I was already feeling nervous about it all.  He said it wasn’t surprising that since I had had it before that I was already anticipating it with anxiety.  Two and half hours after giving birth I had taken my first dose.  The rest of the day I did pretty well, but I was also distracted with lots of visitors.

The night in the hospital went fine, though it is not a quiet place.  They ended up having several more deliveries including an emergency c-section.  Though I couldn’t actually hear the deliveries themselves, I could hear the added commotion outside our door.  Seth ate and slept pretty well.  They took him to the nursery for me once.  We were both doing fine, other than the fact that I had lost a lot of blood and so was pretty light-headed and weak.

We were discharged yesterday morning.  I was starting to deal with a bit of tension, but not too bad.  The only difficult thing really that morning was watching the cpr video that they make you watch before being discharged.  I sort of watched it, but found it really hard to pay attention to something I have experienced much too closely.  I have thought about mentioning that fact on my hospital survey.  I know they consider it useful information and it is, but for a family that has lost a baby, it may hit too close to home at that time when they are introducing a new baby into their life.  Plus dealing with anxiety already with the post-partum depression adds another dimension.

Anyway, we were soon on our way home with little Seth.  Elise and Will had visited twice on Monday, but are staying with John’s parents for now until the anti-depressants completely kick in.  I really can’t handle all three kids right now.  Thank you to Becky for coming and sitting with me yesterday while John went back to work for awhile.  I actually was doing alright at that point, and even after she left I went and took a nap with Seth before John got back.  Being home alone was no big deal and I was encouraged that things were going so well.

Yesterday evening though as we vegged and watched TV the anxiety began to hit.  Soon I had that distinct feeling of nervousness in my chest.  It feels like someone has their hand on my heart and is squeezing and twisting it.  By bedtime I found it really hard to sleep.  My mom came to spend the night and help with Seth.  Seth, who up to that point had been very laid back suddenly decided he was just unhappy.  He was fine while nursing, but in between feedings he just acted uncomfortable.  We think he is dealing with gas pains.  It was fine since I was not able to get my body to relax for sleep either.  I found as I held Seth I completely related to him.  I knew he was tired, wanted to sleep, but just couldn’t and I felt the exact same way.  Somehow, by holding him on my chest I was able to drift off several times, as if I could focus that extra energy outside myself and into caring for him.

He finally slept a good long stretch with John and I after my Mom left at 6 this morning (she and my Dad are headed today to Indiana for Thanksgiving).  This morning he has continued his uncomfortable squirming between meals, but is finally asleep again, hopefully for a good stretch.  I on the other hand and feeling even more anxious and have had at least one complete meltdown this morning.  I told John, I just wish I could fast-forward through the next couple of days to the point where I feel like myself.  But I know I can’t.  Physically, I am not in very much pain, but I am still losing a lot of blood, and would appreciate prayers for that as well.  My strength is very low and it doesn’t help my frame of mind any to feel so physically weak as well.

For the depression we are fighting it in 3 ways.  1) Anti-depressants.  Anti-depressants are always what help me get rid of the physical symptoms that send my mind into the downward spirals.  I was discussing with Bekah this morning (she is here spending the day with me and Seth since John is at work), that it is really almost all physical, but because the physical symptom doesn’t seem to have a cause, my mind starts to search for one.  The feeling of anxiety is like what you would have if you were really nervous about something, like speaking in front of a group of people or something.  That feeling that you can’t sleep or eat until the ordeal is over.  But there is no reason for the feeling, so my mind starts searching for a reason:  “Maybe you are dying, maybe you won’t be able to handle being a mom of 3 kids, maybe something awful is going to happen.”  And that leads me to the next method we are using to fight it: 2)The truth.  Since I have been through this before, I know that these feeling are not signs of something wrong with me or an emotional fear of something going wrong.  They are merely physical symptoms, basically of withdrawal from all the pregnancy hormones that your body so quickly flushes out after you give birth.  It makes me wonder why God didn’t build in some self-weaning cycle into the postpartum cycle, perhaps he wants to take that opportunity to walk closely with those women who have an issue dealing with it.  Perhaps he wants us to have compassion for those that deal with depression and insomnia on a more consistent basis.  I don’t know, but another truth is that he is there, and he does walk through it with us.  If he has asked me to walk through this, then he will walk through it with me.  And no matter how much I feel like I am spinning out of control, he really has tight control on me.

As a kid I used to hate merry-go-rounds because I would get so dizzy on them.  I have actually fallen off one before because of being dizzy.  In the old McDonalds playground there used to be a little blue round plastic merry-go-round.  Perhaps you remember it?  You would sit in it with your friends and then turn the wheel in the middle to spin it around faster and faster.  I don’t know why I ever got in it, but I would.  One time as I sat there, my friend informed me that it was especially fun if you closed your eyes.  So I tried that and instantly had the sensation that I was flying out of the merry-go-round.  Of course when I opened them, I was still seated firmly on the seat, but the sensation had felt so real.  I’m not sure I ever got on it again.  In the same way, I can feel that I am spinning out of control with no anchor, but really I am still here in God’s lap with his arms around me.

3)Support and distraction.  If I can keep my thoughts from ever entering the realm of wondering what is wrong, I can stay farther away from the depression, and that is where distraction comes in.  I have found that the more people I surround myself with, the better I feel.  In this way, I guess it comes in handy that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will be spending it with family.  Perhaps the distraction is just what I need.  Other than that, I am just not allowing myself to be left alone and I am talking when I need to talk, and right now writing my feelings.  Expression helps me a lot.  That is why this is so long.    But, I tell you this last one, because if you had wanted to visit but thought it better to wait until I am doing better, I would encourage you to come now if you want to.  I would love to visit with you and it will take my mind off of things for awhile.  Of course I do warn you that if I am in tears or pacing nervously up and down, that is completely normal.  And on the other hand, I may appear completely normal to you, as I often try to hide the tension inside.

No matter what, your prayers are greatly appreciated.  Here are some specific things to pray about:

-John.  We had not completely transitioned my business responsibilities out of my hands when Seth decided to come (our fault, not his, he gave us plenty of time).  John has been having to work quite a bit to do my work, plus his.  He is trying to set it up so that it will be done be someone else, but for now, please pray for him.  He would much rather be home here supporting me and can’t right now.

-My anxiety and weepiness.  Pray for peace and grace to get through this completely natural time.  Pray for normalcy in the way I feel so that I can deal with getting back to life.  It is not currently overwhelming me that life will be completely different.  I was well-prepared for that mentally.  But I don’t even want to deal with it until I can sleep peacefully at night (even in short spurts).  I know that I can handle it with God’s strength, it is just overwhelming to do with the extra emotional and physical symptoms of post-partum.

-Seth.  Seth is doing well, all his tests came back normal and he actually seems older than my other children did when born.  Probably because he is a bit older, he just spent that extra time in the womb.    But though his fussiness is just part of my day right now, I know it will get harder and harder as we try to parent two other children and take care of other things as well.  Pray that the gassiness (if that is what it is) will subside quickly and we will not have to deal with colic like we did with Will.  If we do have to deal with it, pray for patience and strength as John and I learn to handle it again as I am sure we will.  Also, he looks a bit yellowish today, and though I am not worried yet, I do know that jaundice could become a problem, so pray that his numbers will stay down on their own.  He nurses quite a bit, but until my actual milk comes in, I don’t know how effective that will be to holding off the jaundice.  In the meantime I am trying to get him some sunlight as well.

-Me physically.  Pray for my bleeding to slow on its own.  I was given quite a bit of pitocin after the birth to help with this and it seemed to work.  My bleeding slowed and the nurses seemed quite pleased with my uterus tightening well.  But today it is picking up again even though I am taking it quite easy.  I had this issue after Elise’s birth and learned that it takes many months to get your blood levels to get back up to normal.  So pray that this will be fine.  Oh, and because of the anxiety I find it hard to eat.  I am trying to force myself to eat (and I ate a lot before it hit), but pray I will get the nutrition I need to keep my strength up and produce what Seth needs as well.  Perhaps Thanksgiving day food will tempt me enough to get a good meal in. 

We are pleased to announce the arrival of Seth Ethan Lein.  Seth was born at 10:01  am on Monday, November 24.  10 days overdue and one day before his scheduled induction.  He was 9 lbs 3 oz and 20.5 inches long.  Quite a big boy, though he hides it well with his tiny features and compact body.  He has the same nose as the other 3 of my kids, huge eyes that instantly reminded us of Emma and a tiny mouth and chin.

His birth story is an amazing one of God’s grace and perfect timing.  I know that many of you were praying for an easier labor for us, and God listened and answered.  He didn’t completely change the way my body labors, which I find interesting, but rather worked within that framework to give me an easier experience.

Technically speaking Seth’s labor began at 8:30 pm on Sunday night (which if you are adding makes it identical in length to Will’s labor - 13 1/2 hours).  But it is hard to count all that time since I went to bed and slept through the majority of that.  I am pretty sure I was in labor, but the contractions did not really grow in intensity of frequency until the next morning.  It was as if everything waited for me to get the sleep I needed before kicking into high gear.  Once I did get up in the morning, that is exactly what happened.  At first I thought I still had hours to go, so I let John go back to sleep, made some phone calls and just waited for things to get going.  When I got up and around to get kids up and dressed the contractions started getting much closer and they were intense enough to have to breathe through.  I finally got John up and Nana (Mom Lein) showed up about then as well to get the kids ready to go.  It was around 7:30.

I had been planning on waiting until 8:00 and then going into the clinic to be checked before heading to the hospital.  I was starting to feel desperate, so I called the clinic to see if they opened early.  They did not.  I called them again after 8 and for some reason they were still not answering their phones.  John and I finally got out of the house between 8:15 and 8:30 and instead of going to the clinic we changed plans and headed straight to the hospital, because as I had told him, I was either getting close, or was going to get an epidural because they were so painful.

I was admitted at 8:40 and was still not obviously in hard labor as I walked back to my room myself.  John left for a few minutes to take his mom’s keys back to our house as we had accidentally taken them with us.  As soon as he was gone and I got into the bed I started shaking violently, my hands went numb, and I was quite desperate with the intensity of everything.  It turns out that I had hit transition and was already 8 cm dilated!  No epidural for me.  John was back and asked if I wanted to get one, but I knew that it was really too late to do.  Must have been God’s perfect timing.  He must not have wanted me to get one for some reason.    Who knows?  Perhaps my body wouldn’t react well to one, or perhaps it would have made it too hard to push because I struggled with that this time.

Anyway, within probably 45 minutes I was pushing.  Seth was not progressing as I would have liked and I did not feel that I was accomplishing well what I was supposed to be doing.  Seth’s heart rate kept dropping too, but the doctor assured us he was still fine. Finally we tried some different positions and found one that worked really well.  The doctor was soon helping Seth out, another painful delivery as he was a bit larger than I expected.  Seth was quite blue, so I was instantly asking if he was OK, but he was also crying and breathing, so that was a good sign.  It took him awhile to get his color back, but now he looks perfect.

I can’t say that it was a pleasant experience, but I do admit that God did answer your prayers in giving me a full night’s sleep while still in labor, and shortening my transition time to make it all go a lot quicker, so I didn’t have time to get quite as exhausted by the end.  We didn’t have to be induced, and I didn’t get an epidural (which even though I find that a bit disappointing, I am really quite glad of since I have never had one and do not know how I or the baby would react).

So, thank you for praying.  I will try to get some pictures up later today.  I will do another post later as well on our experiences since the birth and what you can be praying for now.

I know that many people are starting to wonder if they just missed the news of our newest addition, but don’t worry, you haven’t yet.  The baby just hasn’t decided to make his/her appearance yet.  On Tuesday I was 4 days overdue and went in for a routine ultrasound to check how things looked.  The news was all good.  The estimate on the baby’s weight was 8 lbs 5 oz (which the doctor admits is a VERY rough estimate).  I had plenty of fluid still, the baby was in the correct position, and the cord appeared to be where it was supposed to be (not obviously around the neck or anything).  Heartrate was nice and steady at 140.  So we are looking good.  Since there are increased risks the farther I go over my due date (such as cord accidents, fluid levels dropping, etc) the doctor wanted me to pick a date that I will be induced if I have not had the baby on my own.  We chose next Tuesday (Nov 25).  So, I will definitely have a baby by Thanksgiving.

So, the hope is the baby comes before that date, but if it hasn’t we will go in on Tuesday at 6:00 am and have them start me on pitocin to get the labor going.  This is not my first choice, but I am fine with having an end date in mind, just hoping that the baby is here before then.  On the plus side, the contractions I’ve been having are starting to change slightly and I think we are starting to make some progress.  Thanks for all your prayers for an easy labor and delivery.  You can pray that I will continue to be patient in God’s perfect timing.  It is getting hard to wait as I am now 6 days overdue.  I’ve never gone more than 6 days past my due date, so it is a new experience for me and I understand now why overdue pregnant women are often characterized as being quite grumpy.

I have had several people ask me if they are still receiving my email updates because they haven’t seen any in awhile.  I have to admit it is because I have not updated the blog in a long while.  In fact when I logged on here today I was shocked to see how long ago it actually was that I had last written.  I’m sorry.  Here is an update for all those who are wondering how we are doing.

-The Baby Habit:  As most of you know, John and I have been busy running our business The Baby Habit.  This is the main reason I haven’t updated in awhile as it takes a lot of our time.  The business is growing slowly, but surely.  We now are open at our downtown store every afternoon and all day Saturdays.  We have two employees working the embroidery machine and watching the store, so they are the ones you will see if you happen to visit the store.  I plan on adding back in some store hours for myself in a few months when life adjusts after the new baby, as I do enjoy it a lot.  For now, John and I spend many hours a week packing and shipping boxes for our many online orders.  For now, that part of the business will still be done out of our house and mainly managed by John when I take time off for the baby.  John and I are still enjoying this business venture and have high hopes for the years ahead.  You can pray for this business mainly in that we will find the right balance of work and family.  There are many advantages to having our own business, but it also seems to be easier to put work before family since we are so invested in it.

- John:  Other than running The Baby Habit, John also works half time for another company, mainly doing web design.  This keeps him pretty busy, but we have enjoyed seeing more of him around the house as most of his work can be done from home or from his store office.  He has spent lots of time with the kids too since he is conveniently located in town and I can drop them off with him for a doctor’s appointment or for a morning at the store.  You can pray for him as he tries to balance two (and sometimes more) jobs at one time, and that God would bless his striving to get to a point of much more flexible family and artistic time.  Also, pray for all he has ahead of him as he helps me out through the adjustment of having a baby, all at the same time as losing a lot of my help in the business.
-Elise:  Elise is doing Kindergarten at home this year, and she and I are thoroughly enjoyed it.  We started a little earlier than some homeschooling families so that we could take a long Thanksgiving/Christmas break to adjust to having a new little one around the house.  She loves reading, which she is getting quite good at, and addition (right now she is practicing adding one to other numbers).  She also enjoys Bible time, in which we read a section of the Bible together.  She really seems to enjoy all her school and it is a good time for both of us to do something together.  When Will stops taking morning naps, that will get harder.  Elise spends some time helping John and I with sorting and packing.  She also can be a big help with cleaning and laundry when she feels like it.  She is almost always a help with entertaining Will though.  It is fun to watch them play together.  Sometimes Elise follows Will around copying him, and sometimes he is the one copying her.  They enjoy each other’s company despite the little “arguments” they do get into.  Please pray for her in her spiritual development, as she is learning all the time new things about God and her relationship with him.  She is also learning to adjust to having a sibling that doesn’t always agree with her or leave her alone when she wants him too.  She has a very willing and loving heart, but as you well know, being 5 can be quite a war between the desire to be good and the desire to have things your own way.  Pray also for her adjustment to another sibling.  Despite the fact that she really looks forward to it, I know that she is also aware of the time with me she will lose.  She is also aware enough now to be conscious of the fact that this won’t necessarily be an easy transition for any of us.
-Will: Hmmm, how to describe Will.  Will puts smiles into our day with his antics and his loving personality.  He has been sick a lot so far this fall, it is different having two children to pass things back and forth.    Most of the time he is a happy little one year old, running after Elise or playing quietly by himself.  He is quite adventurous though, and requires almost constant attention.  He often climbs on tables, eats markers, and produces large messes.  He does have the desire to be a helper though.  He will often carry little packages for me when he thinks we are ready to take them to the post office (sometimes we are, sometimes we are not), and will run to get his hands on any items that we are moving, trying his best to push or pull them to help us out.  He is actually quite strong for his size too, and often surprises me with the large things he can move.  He doesn’t talk much, but is starting to produce some clearer sounds.  His favorite words are “this” and “that,” which he uses for just about everything.  He makes it clear what he is talking about by also adding in a pointed finger aimed at the desired object.  In most instances he has decided that this method works quite well in getting his point across.  He can also say “do” for dog, and “da” for Dad.  He just recently decided that he would add “mama” into his vocabulary, which of course has me thrilled.  He tries some other words, but they usually have to involve pointing in order for us to understand.    Pray that God would keep more sicknesses away from him.  He just recently went through two rounds of antibiotics to get rid of step and I am not sure yet it is gone.  Also pray that he will transition easily into being big brother instead of just the little brother.
The “baby”:  Right now we are just waiting for the new baby to make his/her appearance.  My due date is in about 2 weeks (Nov 14).  I am having the normal end of the pregnancy contractions and discomfort, along with increased fatigue.  The baby seems to be doing well, and still finds the room to wiggle and squirm.  I am looking forward to meeting this little one that God has chosen to add to our family.  I know that each of our children was specially chosen by God, but there is an extra bit of surprise involved when you know that God chose it without letting you in on the secret.  Elise is looking forward to the baby as well, and seems to enjoy waiting for the surprise of boy or girl, although she has made it clear that her preference is a girl.  She says right now that I look like a chair because my stomach is so big.  Will on the other hand seems completely oblivious no matter how often I have him touch my belly and say “baby.”  Of course that is to be expected, but I hope the new addition doesn’t take him too much by surprise.  Pray for the baby’s health and development and for a good and easy delivery.
Miriam:  Well, I am doing well.  This has been a relatively easy pregnancy for me.  I have had very little hip issues (I did on all 3 other pregnancies), no carpal tunnel so far (another symptom I had on all 3 other pregnancies), and not even as much weight gain.  I am thinking that a lot of this has to do with the fact that I have stayed more active during this pregnancy just because we have had so much work to do with the new business.  Also, having a toddler adds another dimension into mom’s fitness routine.  I do much more getting up and down and lifting.    Also, I think that God just knew what we needed for this pregnancy and gave us special blessings.  You can pray with us that the baby will arrive in God’s perfect timing and that the labor and delivery would be much easier than my others have been.  I also anticipate going through postpartum depression again, as usual, and so I would appreciate prayers for us during that transition time as well.  I am actually feeling very positive about the whole thing right now, but I don’t want to underestimate the work I have ahead and would appreciate any prayers in these areas.

Other family news:  OK, not all of you know my sister Bekah and her husband Herbie and those that do probably already know this news, but I will share it here anyway.  Bekah and Herbie are expecting their first baby (supposedly a boy) in early March.  We are all excited for them and it is fun to see how excited they are as well.  I am enjoying being pregnant at the same time as my sister and adding this new dimension to our friendship.  Pray for them for a healthy pregnancy and baby, and also for an easy delivery.

Elise has said that twice today:  “This is my worst day ever!”  Of course, when you’re 5 it doesn’t take many bad things to erase all the wonderful things that  happen in a day.  Come to think of it, that may not have anything to do with being 5. 

It has been an excellent day actually, but ended with an adventure.  Elise went to Bible School this morning while I was at the store for a half day (our first day on our grand opening sale).  We had a record number of customers at the store, so when I came home and sat down with Elise to eat lunch I shared the good news with her.  She’s been very interested in “The Grand Sale” as she calls it.  So interested that she has been more than willing to pray at bedtime so that she can pray for the sale.  I’m surprised as it has taken so much of my time this week to get ready for it, that I haven’t been able to do anything extra with her.  Anyway, I shared the good news with her so she would know that God was answering her prayers and I said we should thank him for that, so she asked to pray and told God thank you for answering her prayers about the sale, and asked that it would keep going well, and also thanked him for helping her have a good time at Bible School.  It was a very grown-up prayer and I was so proud of her.

Her day had obviously not started out badly, because she talked to me for quite some time about all the things she had done at Bible School and brought me the invitation that they had given her for the program tomorrow night.  She was disappointed of course that we won’t go to the program, but didn’t seem too upset about it.

I worked at getting caught up on online orders during Elise’s naptime and then after nap, Tio (Herbie) came to play with the kids while I ran to the post office.  She talked him into letting her watch a cartoon.  Sometime during the afternoon came the first rendition of “This is my worst day ever,” but to be honest I don’t know what it was about.  I think she hurt herself or something.

John called a little before supper to let me know I needed to bring the keys back to him so he could lock up, and I told him how I had forgotten to thaw the meat for supper.  We decided to meet him at the office, lock up, and then go out to eat, something Elise was thrilled about.  My mom had already picked up our car to use to transport those going to a wedding in Pennsylvania to the airport tomorrow morning.  We are supposed to pick up her car at the shop tomorrow morning.  In the meantime, we have John’s Dad’s truck.  So, I loaded the kids in the truck, letting Elise be a big girl and sit up front with me, while Will sat in the back seat.  When we were getting out of the truck at the store, Elise burned her leg on the seatbelt and I’m sure felt that this reflected badly on the whole day.

We eventually got to Callahans where we enjoyed a good supper.  Elise assured us that this was her favorite restaurant, partly because of the good food, and partly because there is a horse painted on the wall in the entryway.  Around 7:00, slightly past Will’s bedtime, and nearing Elise’s we loaded back into the truck and pulled out onto Hwy. 412 to head home.  In the turning lane before John had a chance to merge into traffic the truck completely died and spilled oil all over the road.  John tried several times to restart it with no luck.  Elise, of course, was starting to stress and said she “doesn’t like this day!”  We prepared to have John push the car through traffic into a nearby parking lot, when thankfully two firemen in a small pickup stopped to help.  They stopped traffic for us and helped up push the truck to safety.  Then they gave us a cramped ride home.  Elise said that she thought firemen only helped with fires, but they said they tried to help anyone who needed it.

We got home safely, and Elise is still convinced that the day was no good, even though it ended up OK.  She said she was scared, and I don’t blame her, it was a little scary.  Although it would have been scarier had not John been with us, and had the firemen not stopped to help.

I encourage you to read this story carefully and see how many good things outweigh the few bad things that happened today.  Perhaps next time you feel like you are having the “worst day ever,” you will be able to see some good in it as well.

I have been so busy lately I hardly have time to sit still during the day.  Well today that changed.  Why is it that God decides to force me to rest sometimes?  At least he gave me the foresight to get a bit ahead on work last night.  I was a bit behind and decided to catch up and get a bit ahead on embroidery for orders that were going out today.  That way I thought I would have lots of extra time today!  Hehe.

Anyway, this morning as I was trying to do some basic household chores before heading down to watch the store for my half day I noticed that Will was unusually grumpy for that early in the morning.  When I picked him up he was also warm.  Since he turned his head away when I stuck my finger in his mouth I figured he was teething and gave him some tylenol, but decided to go ahead and take his temperature too.  It was 100.3, which is a bit high for just teething.  Thankfully I knew that Laura’s kids had strep and that he could have been exposed, so I went ahead and made a doctor appointment.  It is a good thing I did, as he did have strep and even with starting antibiotics today his fever climbed to over 103.  He has slept most of the day and is down again for the night now.  I will have to check him later though, as I don’t want his temperature to keep climbing.  Usually I wouldn’t have taken him in on the first day of symptoms because I like to wait it out first to see if it is necessary to pay for an appointment.  I’m glad this time I knew enough of what it probably was to take him in.  Especially since John and I are going away for the weekend for our anniversary.

Well, back to my forced rest.  I actually did get a little bit of time at the store while John took the kids home and put Will to bed and Elise in front of a movie.  Elise had been complaining off and on of a sore throat, but I didn’t know if she was just worrying about getting sick because Will was.  The doctor had looked at her throat too and said it looked fine.  Anyway, as the day has gone on, Elise also now has a temperature, so we will be calling in antibiotics for her tomorrow as well.  So, with all that, while Will took a very long nap, I was able to get all the orders out that needed to go and then when I took a break to check on him, he was so grumpy and miserable that he ended up just cuddling with me for an hour.  I’m definitely not complaining.  It was a good rest time.  Unfortunately I have not been as patient with Elise.  Sigh . . .

Elise is about ready to go to bed now and then I am going to do some more work.  But I do plan on just doing a minimum and then sitting down to REST.

Will turns 1 this Saturday. It is hard to believe that he has been part of our family for one whole year! Here are some of the things he’s learned lately:

-Walking is easier than crawling.

-If you pull hard enough on the toilet handle the toilet will flush, and it works over and over again!

-The toilet is just the right size to give your teddy bear a bath in.

-Wet teddy bears are fun to suck on.

-If you blow on a whistle it makes a noise, but it is hard to do if you are smiling at the same time.

-What phones are for: to beep, hold on your shoulder, and say “hi” to. Every once in awhile a voice you recognize might answer back.

-Wii remotes are really fun to play with. (And also to chew on.)

-Mommy doesn’t like it when I play with wii remotes.

-If I scream really loud, people look at me.

-When my sister is bugging me the best thing to do is scream really loud.

-Screaming really loud sort of sounds like a cat’s meow, and so is the best method of communication with them.

-Dogs are nice, but also scary.

-Cows say moo.

-Soap doesn’t taste good, but the texture is nice.

-Cat food is a great snack when you are hungry and mom hasn’t fed you yet.

-When Mommy puts her hand under your chin, that means to spit out whatever is in your mouth. (Not sure why she does this, but it makes her happy if I do it.)

-Cars go “vroom,vroom” and bears go “Grrr.”

-If you are sitting in the sink and the faucet is on, you can get a drink pretty easily. Just be careful about getting water in your eyes.

It was three years ago today that we welcomed Emma Anne into our lives. Yesterday I remembered my labor, long and hard, and the way that God came alongside me to give me strength. Emma’s labor has been my longest so far, but also the most spiritual. It was then that God began to make clear to me how much he was there for us, without us really realizing how much we would need it.

I remember her birth, the lifeless body that was nevertheless still filled with life. I remember how tiny she seemed, that her hair was wavy, and that she was more worn out than I was from the labor. I remember my joy at being able to hold her in my arms. It would be later that there would be worry and frustration over her health, but for that day her life seemed full of hope and promise just like any little baby.

When I try to imagine her here with us now I have a very fuzzy picture. You see, I don’t know what she would have been like, whether she would have learned to walk, to talk, to eat. I don’t know how our family would be with the busyness of caring for her needs above all else. But when I imagine her happy and healthy and playing in heaven, then I feel like the picture clears. That was her future all along. That is where she belongs.

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” Proverbs 14:10

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.” Proverbs 14:13

“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5b

“You have turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent, O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.” Psalm 30:11-12