Elise has said that twice today:  “This is my worst day ever!”  Of course, when you’re 5 it doesn’t take many bad things to erase all the wonderful things that  happen in a day.  Come to think of it, that may not have anything to do with being 5. 

It has been an excellent day actually, but ended with an adventure.  Elise went to Bible School this morning while I was at the store for a half day (our first day on our grand opening sale).  We had a record number of customers at the store, so when I came home and sat down with Elise to eat lunch I shared the good news with her.  She’s been very interested in “The Grand Sale” as she calls it.  So interested that she has been more than willing to pray at bedtime so that she can pray for the sale.  I’m surprised as it has taken so much of my time this week to get ready for it, that I haven’t been able to do anything extra with her.  Anyway, I shared the good news with her so she would know that God was answering her prayers and I said we should thank him for that, so she asked to pray and told God thank you for answering her prayers about the sale, and asked that it would keep going well, and also thanked him for helping her have a good time at Bible School.  It was a very grown-up prayer and I was so proud of her.

Her day had obviously not started out badly, because she talked to me for quite some time about all the things she had done at Bible School and brought me the invitation that they had given her for the program tomorrow night.  She was disappointed of course that we won’t go to the program, but didn’t seem too upset about it.

I worked at getting caught up on online orders during Elise’s naptime and then after nap, Tio (Herbie) came to play with the kids while I ran to the post office.  She talked him into letting her watch a cartoon.  Sometime during the afternoon came the first rendition of “This is my worst day ever,” but to be honest I don’t know what it was about.  I think she hurt herself or something.

John called a little before supper to let me know I needed to bring the keys back to him so he could lock up, and I told him how I had forgotten to thaw the meat for supper.  We decided to meet him at the office, lock up, and then go out to eat, something Elise was thrilled about.  My mom had already picked up our car to use to transport those going to a wedding in Pennsylvania to the airport tomorrow morning.  We are supposed to pick up her car at the shop tomorrow morning.  In the meantime, we have John’s Dad’s truck.  So, I loaded the kids in the truck, letting Elise be a big girl and sit up front with me, while Will sat in the back seat.  When we were getting out of the truck at the store, Elise burned her leg on the seatbelt and I’m sure felt that this reflected badly on the whole day.

We eventually got to Callahans where we enjoyed a good supper.  Elise assured us that this was her favorite restaurant, partly because of the good food, and partly because there is a horse painted on the wall in the entryway.  Around 7:00, slightly past Will’s bedtime, and nearing Elise’s we loaded back into the truck and pulled out onto Hwy. 412 to head home.  In the turning lane before John had a chance to merge into traffic the truck completely died and spilled oil all over the road.  John tried several times to restart it with no luck.  Elise, of course, was starting to stress and said she “doesn’t like this day!”  We prepared to have John push the car through traffic into a nearby parking lot, when thankfully two firemen in a small pickup stopped to help.  They stopped traffic for us and helped up push the truck to safety.  Then they gave us a cramped ride home.  Elise said that she thought firemen only helped with fires, but they said they tried to help anyone who needed it.

We got home safely, and Elise is still convinced that the day was no good, even though it ended up OK.  She said she was scared, and I don’t blame her, it was a little scary.  Although it would have been scarier had not John been with us, and had the firemen not stopped to help.

I encourage you to read this story carefully and see how many good things outweigh the few bad things that happened today.  Perhaps next time you feel like you are having the “worst day ever,” you will be able to see some good in it as well.

I have been so busy lately I hardly have time to sit still during the day.  Well today that changed.  Why is it that God decides to force me to rest sometimes?  At least he gave me the foresight to get a bit ahead on work last night.  I was a bit behind and decided to catch up and get a bit ahead on embroidery for orders that were going out today.  That way I thought I would have lots of extra time today!  Hehe.

Anyway, this morning as I was trying to do some basic household chores before heading down to watch the store for my half day I noticed that Will was unusually grumpy for that early in the morning.  When I picked him up he was also warm.  Since he turned his head away when I stuck my finger in his mouth I figured he was teething and gave him some tylenol, but decided to go ahead and take his temperature too.  It was 100.3, which is a bit high for just teething.  Thankfully I knew that Laura’s kids had strep and that he could have been exposed, so I went ahead and made a doctor appointment.  It is a good thing I did, as he did have strep and even with starting antibiotics today his fever climbed to over 103.  He has slept most of the day and is down again for the night now.  I will have to check him later though, as I don’t want his temperature to keep climbing.  Usually I wouldn’t have taken him in on the first day of symptoms because I like to wait it out first to see if it is necessary to pay for an appointment.  I’m glad this time I knew enough of what it probably was to take him in.  Especially since John and I are going away for the weekend for our anniversary.

Well, back to my forced rest.  I actually did get a little bit of time at the store while John took the kids home and put Will to bed and Elise in front of a movie.  Elise had been complaining off and on of a sore throat, but I didn’t know if she was just worrying about getting sick because Will was.  The doctor had looked at her throat too and said it looked fine.  Anyway, as the day has gone on, Elise also now has a temperature, so we will be calling in antibiotics for her tomorrow as well.  So, with all that, while Will took a very long nap, I was able to get all the orders out that needed to go and then when I took a break to check on him, he was so grumpy and miserable that he ended up just cuddling with me for an hour.  I’m definitely not complaining.  It was a good rest time.  Unfortunately I have not been as patient with Elise.  Sigh . . .

Elise is about ready to go to bed now and then I am going to do some more work.  But I do plan on just doing a minimum and then sitting down to REST.

Will turns 1 this Saturday. It is hard to believe that he has been part of our family for one whole year! Here are some of the things he’s learned lately:

-Walking is easier than crawling.

-If you pull hard enough on the toilet handle the toilet will flush, and it works over and over again!

-The toilet is just the right size to give your teddy bear a bath in.

-Wet teddy bears are fun to suck on.

-If you blow on a whistle it makes a noise, but it is hard to do if you are smiling at the same time.

-What phones are for: to beep, hold on your shoulder, and say “hi” to. Every once in awhile a voice you recognize might answer back.

-Wii remotes are really fun to play with. (And also to chew on.)

-Mommy doesn’t like it when I play with wii remotes.

-If I scream really loud, people look at me.

-When my sister is bugging me the best thing to do is scream really loud.

-Screaming really loud sort of sounds like a cat’s meow, and so is the best method of communication with them.

-Dogs are nice, but also scary.

-Cows say moo.

-Soap doesn’t taste good, but the texture is nice.

-Cat food is a great snack when you are hungry and mom hasn’t fed you yet.

-When Mommy puts her hand under your chin, that means to spit out whatever is in your mouth. (Not sure why she does this, but it makes her happy if I do it.)

-Cars go “vroom,vroom” and bears go “Grrr.”

-If you are sitting in the sink and the faucet is on, you can get a drink pretty easily. Just be careful about getting water in your eyes.

It was three years ago today that we welcomed Emma Anne into our lives. Yesterday I remembered my labor, long and hard, and the way that God came alongside me to give me strength. Emma’s labor has been my longest so far, but also the most spiritual. It was then that God began to make clear to me how much he was there for us, without us really realizing how much we would need it.

I remember her birth, the lifeless body that was nevertheless still filled with life. I remember how tiny she seemed, that her hair was wavy, and that she was more worn out than I was from the labor. I remember my joy at being able to hold her in my arms. It would be later that there would be worry and frustration over her health, but for that day her life seemed full of hope and promise just like any little baby.

When I try to imagine her here with us now I have a very fuzzy picture. You see, I don’t know what she would have been like, whether she would have learned to walk, to talk, to eat. I don’t know how our family would be with the busyness of caring for her needs above all else. But when I imagine her happy and healthy and playing in heaven, then I feel like the picture clears. That was her future all along. That is where she belongs.

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” Proverbs 14:10

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.” Proverbs 14:13

“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5b

“You have turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent, O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.” Psalm 30:11-12

Thank you for all who prayed for my ultrasound this morning.  I needed those prayers as I was very nervous for some reason.

I hurriedly dropped off a grumpy Will at Laura’s this morning (I’m not sure if he is teething or fighting something, but he has not been himself so far this week).  Elise was dropped off by Nana right as I was leaving there (she spent the night at Nana’s last night).  I got to my appointment just a few minutes late.

Unfortunately I think the office was very busy today.  As I sat in the waiting room I started getting nervous for no apparent reason.  The baby was giving me some light kicks and I felt great.  I got called back pretty quickly and did the initial blood pressure and weight check.  I found out that I have not gained any weight this last month still.  So of course that got me to worrying more.  I sat in the nurses room for awhile waiting for the ultrasound room to be free, and then once I got in there had to wait even longer for the doctor to be free.  So there I was imagining all sorts of things I was sure the doctor would find when he did the ultrasound.

But it was all fine, of course.  At first the doctor thought he’d be doing another ultrasound next month because the baby was lying on his or her stomach and not giving him very good views of the heart or cord.  Though we got excellent views of the brain and spine, which looked great.  The legs were all tucked up under the baby and he or she was waving a little hand back and forth.  Just as the doctor was about to finish, the baby decided to be accommodating and flipped over giving a great view of the umbilical cord and heart.  Everything looks great.  The heart has 4 clear chambers and the doctor even showed me the working valves and the large aorta inside the baby.  The heart rate was beating very evenly at 155 beats a minute.  The doctor did size measurements to make sure we were on track with growth (something I was worried about with my lack of weight gain).  Baby measures 4 days small, which is perfectly within the normal range for this stage of the pregnancy.  The doctor will do another ultrasound in a couple months to check the development and growth again, but he is very happy with the images he got today and what he was able to see.  And he was very good at not giving away the sex (I’m not even sure he checked what it was, if he did he didn’t mark it down because he left gender marked as “not seen.”)

So, thanks for your prayers, I am feeling more at peace after that appointment.  I’m assuming this baby may be a bit smaller than Will was, just based on my weight gain and ease of pregnancy so far.  But that definitely wouldn’t be a bad thing seeing as he was one ounce shy of 9 lbs!  So I’ll keep eating and letting this baby do its own thing for now.  I can’t wait for the next 20 weeks to pass by so I can meet him or her.  I think this may be the first time I have actually felt anxious to get to the end, so that is an improvement as well.  Just keep praying for an easy delivery.

I know this is late, but John (along with the whole mission team) arrived home safely Thursday night around 11:00 pm.  I was able to meet John at the airport while “Tio” stayed with the kids, who were supposedly sleeping.  John had many stories to share of his trip to the Dominican Republic and really enjoyed it.  I’ll have to ask him to make a post to tell you more about it.

We’ve had a busy, but good weekend and I am ready to start a new week.  I’ve already fallen behind on my new schedule goals (including time with God each day) so I think I need to rework my schedule yet again.  But I enjoyed church today and was refreshed and encouraged to begin anew this week.  I actually picked up quite a few things in the sermon that I thought could be very useful in my parenting.  Perhaps if I have time I will write a post to share some of them with you.

I also wanted to share one quick prayer request.  Wednesday morning at 9 or 9:30 (can’t remember exactly right now) I will be at my 20 week doctor appointment and will get the ultrasound that scans for any issues in the baby’s development.  You can pray that the doctor gets good pictures and that the baby is healthy and the right size.  We have had no worries so far, and John and I have decided to forgo the extra tests we did last time to check for heart defects unless my doctor here sees anything that concerns him.  I have to admit that there is a bit of me that is worried, and will hopefully rest a bit easier after getting good scan results.

I think it safe to say that I do not really enjoy life as a single mom.  But I am learning some things about myself while John is gone, and though some of them are not pleasant revelations, they will turn out for the good I think.  I would like to share some of what God is teaching me right now, but first a quick update on how things are here at the Lein household.

We’ve been busy, especially this weekend.  Wednesday we spent all afternoon shopping with friends.  Thursday I was at the store in the morning while the kids played at “Isabella’s house,” or that is how Elise would say it.  Thursday afternoon I had a lot of orders to get in the mail from the website, so I was busy all afternoon doing that.  That evening Tia and Tio (Bekah and Herbie) came over and watched a movie with me to keep me company.  Friday the store was closed, but I did some misc work until evening when we went to stay at my parents’ house.  We spent the night out there and then Saturday I went back in to run the store all day.  Saturday is usually our biggest retail day at the store, and it turned out to be a pretty good one.  The only issue I ran into was that the checkout system at the store was not working, but thankfully Brad (our amazing programmer) came to the rescue.   Saturday night I woke up with a horrendous illness, but it passed quickly thankfully.  Today we spent the afternoon at Mom’s after church and then came home right before the storms hit.  Now Elise is sleeping next to me in bed because of the lightning.  It is quieting down now, so I will have to move her soon.  Oh, and Will took his first multiple steps this weekend.  Perhaps he will have something to surprise Daddy with when he gets home.
And now, to what I have been learning.  It has become quite obvious to me how much I rely on my husband for.  There are the technical things - like logging someone else onto our wireless internet or taking charge to get a bug in the website fixed.  There are the little things I just never have asked him - like what the password to his computer is (I finally figured out that one) and what are the names of his contacts at work in case they call.  There are the emotional ones - like a comforting presence in the evenings and someone to tell my inner struggles to.  And there are the practical things - like that extra hand with the children (especially in the area of discipline) or someone to take over for me when I don’t feel well or are at my wit’s end.

I started thinking today about all this and began to wonder if I rely too much on my husband.  Especially in the emotional department.  I am not very good alone, I get depressed and I get to overthinking everything (which is possibly what I am doing now).    But is this something that I should be relying on God for?  I know that God made family relationships for a reason, and that when he said it is not good for man to be alone, he probably meant woman too.  But I also know that he wants to be my all in all, the one that completes me.  I also know that even my husband would say that sometimes I am “too submissive.”  I don’t like to make decisions on my own and believe it or not often struggle to give an opionion on things when asked because I am not very opinionated.  I have been working on this area and found that having to make decisions for the store this week is a good step in the right direction.  And so I am finding peace in this in two truths.  One, that I do need my husband and am so thankful that God has given me such a wonderful man to partner with, and two, that I do need to be working more on my relationship with God.  It is easy sometimes to put other relationships in the place of God, or perhaps even to ignore and hide our flaws behind the strengths of another person.

For example, I am not a very good discipliner.  When John and I are parenting as a team, things work fairly well.  But, a good portion of the time I am the one doing the parenting as he is not here most of the day.  And I am beginning to see the areas in which I am lacking.  This was really bothering me this weekend and I found myself before the Lord feeling completely humbled as I saw what a mess I am.  I knew that it is only going to be with God’s help that I improve in this area, and that it is only in my pursuing a deeper relationship with him that it will happen.  It was not a pleasant place to find myself, but it was where I needed to be.  This morning in church I was encouraged through the pastor’s sermon to come boldly before God’s throne and ask his forgiveness.  I know I don’t deserve it, but I do know that because of Jesus’ death that forgiveness is already mine.  I hope that this experience will encourage me to follow through on my intentions this time around.  It is often that I have failed to fit time with God into my busy schedule.  But each day is full of decisions and I plan on making a better one in this area tomorrow.

For those of you that don’t know, John left this morning to go with our church youth group to the Dominican Republic.  They will be building a church building there and doing ministry services.  He’ll be gone through next Wednesday, so tonight I am trying to accustom myself to the idea of him not being here for that long.

During the days I think I will be so busy not to notice.  Well, except for when something goes wrong with the store or website, which I am running without him this week.  But hopefully things will run smoothly.  But in the evenings I get a bit depressed without him here, so you all can pray for me that I will stay upbeat.  And of course, pray for the mission trip that it will be successful (despite the many days of rain in the forecast) and that the team will stay safe.

Well, I better start wrapping things up so that I can get some sleep.  I am working the store tomorrow morning.  Oh, and thanks to everyone who is helping me with childcare when I need to be at the store this week.  It is a great help, and greatly needed with John gone.

I can’t believe that next time I go in for an appointment I will be half way through the pregnancy!  My check-up today went really well.  I haven’t gained much weight, but the doctor was not concerned, he said it would come eventually.    I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time today!  I have felt the baby move some, but not often.  I don’t sit still enough to notice it much.  So, next appointment will be my 20 week scan with this doctor and they will also schedule my appointment in Fayettville where I will get a level II ultrasound to check for heart defects.

I know I have not been updating as much as I should, but I do have a good reason.  John and I have been working night and day on our new business.  The Baby Habit is now open online at www.thebabyhabit.com and downtown on  Broadway.  Our store sells baby and toddler clothing and accessories, including diaper bags, blankets, shoes, and bibs.  I also do embroidery personalization on most of our products.

OK, so enough of the shameless self-promotion.    We have been really enjoying working together on this and are excited to see how it goes.  It has taken a lot of my time, leading me to see some things that are lacking in my life right now.  I’ll post later on my quest to find balance between my many different responsibilities.

All is well with the kids.  Elise is off of school for the summer and daily looks for things to do because she is “bored.”    She is learning that her brother is fun to play with sometimes.  They played “ball” the other day.  Their version involved Elise dropping a ball on Will’s head repetitively.  He didn’t seem to mind.  Will is getting into everything and learned how to crawl all the way up the stairs.  He is pretty confident that you can crawl down the same way, head first. . .   The pregnancy is going well.  I’ll try to scan in my ultrasounds sometime so you can have a look.  I am now 14 weeks along and feeling great most of the time.  In fact I hardly feel pregnant, though I am starting to look it.

I’ll update more later.  Feel free to check out our store either online or downtown.